****** ******** is puzzled

yes, my facebook status. I'm really puzzled. I don't know. I want to give up. I'm just waiting for the right time and the right signal from God. I need a sign. And if time gives me the courage to do so, I'll be willing to give up. I'm so hating the my ex now. The way he is now, everything he is right now. I don't know if this love I have for him is still worth it. Oh please! Can someone tell me the answers to my questions? I'm needing it. I'm so confused. I'm on a dilemma. Please!

Well, I hope the next time I will be logging in here, I have the answers to my own questions. And thank you mr.blogspot. I suddenly had this feeling to release my emotions. And here you are. Thank you! :(

reason

He's always the reason why I'm into blog. To release my feelings. I'm really hurting. I know I still love him. I never loved anybody the way I loved him. But why are all these happening? I never really wanted to give up, I still fought after all those heartaches that I felt. But I don't have the strength anymore. I really don't know now what to do. It's not working anymore. Oh fate. Please help me. Lord, Thy will be done :(

the break up

ok, as the title it is. Yes we broke up. He gave up. And now I feel guilty for everything I've done. For all those things that I've said him that hurt him. Yes, this might be my karma. Losing the first and only person I truly love. Not that I had fling with others, it's just that I just really loved him with all my heart. It just hurts me more because I thought we're gonna end up together. I thought we're gonna get married and lived happily ever after. All I thought was to include him in my dreams, he's always there as I build my future in my thoughts.
Who knew we would end up this way? But i know I can never change his decision. It is my first time to see him dumping me, pushing me away, begging me to leave. He said he still love me. And I don't know whether to believe it.
wee. it really feels different. I hope I can cope :( please help me :(
I'm still hoping, that someday, we'll still end up together. That this is just trial in our relationship. Although we're not into relationship anymore.

i survived batad!

yes! but unfortunately i didn't survive the game of love. Yes we broke up (not official.) We haven't talked since then yet. Yes I was angry when I said that. Only the two of us knew what happened next. Yes, I've realized my mistakes now. But why aren't you running after me? Does it mean you just gave up everything just like that? Does it mean you're ready to give me up? Shit! I can't bear this pain! O Geez!
Dear God, is he really not meant for me? God please, if there's somebody better for me? Please, you know I'm miserable right now, I love him so much you know that! Please help me, I know You're the only one who can help me. :(

anyway, thank you too Lord for making me survive Batad. I'm still here, I'm still alive, but please, heal my broken heart :(

bwisit na kapatid?

I definitely have one named Joyce!
Duh! I'll have a clear description of her next time! duH! nanginginig ako lagi sa galit! bwisit talaga!

first entry

and yes it's officially 2009 and this is my first blog entry. Well, honestly, I was supposed to write year ender blog or something like "a year that was" blog. But then again, you should know me by now-a shallow person-who never really loved writing or something. I'd rather stay home, sleeping, resting and doing senseless things. In short, I'm a lazy, shallow and a picture of a person with no brain. Yeah, I really see myself in that picture. Some people may say that I'm a studious person and uprigh, but as for me, I'm nothing but a shallow person who just do what is ought to do. I have dreams but I don't know, I just really don't see myself successful or an intellectual person. However, I would like to change those things. Oh geez, I hope I can change those things right now.

So here's my list (and yeah, I'm having new year's resolution):
-I'm going to read magazines, newspapers, watch TV and have a little care in the world. (heck, I don't know what's happening on earth! yikes! I don't know about latest news and everything. I don't even know if there's an impending plague or what.
-Secondly, I'll be reading and loving books from now on. Actually, I never really loved reading. but since I read that book entitled "No Boyfriend Since Birth", I loved it and now I read also the book entitled "Eleven Minutes". Well then, I think, I'm loving it now. As long as I will read those that has a good story and not boring. :)
-I would also like to wake up early now. Or maybe just lessen my sleeping hours. I will now exert an effort to make a wake up call. ;P
-And be diligent when it comes to my studies :) grrr.. work work work! i have to work and be diligent. Dianne, you will be graduating in the year 2010!