feeling mo naman

kapal mo naman! feeling mo sa'yo yung cam! feelingera ka! para yan lang nagiinarte ka ng ganyan. sa sobrang ka-vain-an mo, nagkakaganyan ka, puro mukha mo na nga ang nakikita ko noh! tandaan mo to! wag kang gaganyan ganyan ngayon, dahil sa pagtanda natin sa oras na mangailangan ka, tignan ko kung sino luluhod satin para humingi ng tulong! lalo na sa ugali mong yan! mukhang wala kang patutunguhan! napakabait mo talaga ate!! sana makita ng mga kaibigan mo kung sino ka talaga! kung ano totoo mong kulay!

here we go again

What is happening? Is love really fading away? I'm quite sure mine isn't. I love you with all my heart and you know it. But what pushes me away is you. You are pushing me away, making me feel that yeah, it's not the way it was before. But do you know why I'm hurting? It is because I still love you. But I don't know you, if you still love me like before. Now you don't have load to text me. And that's fine with you. Unlike before, you can never have spend a single day without texting me. Well then, I considered it forgiven anyway because I'm thinking you have a problem with your school these past few days. Do you remember your promise to me? That after you fixed everything up, we'll go out? And do you even remember that before sembreak came, you said, you're going here in our province and we'll be bonding?

I was the one with you those times that you were down, those times you feel helpless and alone. And now you're back into mood, how is it going? YOU HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ME!! And why? Because you're happy again! YOU are ONLY with me through your BAD TIMES! But you're never with me through your happy times. Now I'm doubting. Do you really love me? Or do you just want someone to be with you when you have no one?

You gotta think about that. And I'm gonna think of sending you away. Yes, I love you. But I'm just not receiving the kind of treatment I wanted to have. I DON'T DESERVE IT!

Oh crap!

hay, yeah. It's really disappointing. The more you expect the more disappointed you get. I did my best but still nothing happened. I can never tell my parents anymore, "hey mom! I am on a dean's list." Never will I. And hate those judgmental people who thinks I have can never have the chance. I feel inferiority. And yes, I think they're right. I can never have the chance. the last time I was there was still 1st year 1st sem. I don't know. I really don't know what to feel. I hate it. :(
I AM SO MUCH DISAPPOINTED!

Happy birthday!

So ok, I'm really not a teenager anymore.. :(
What am I supposed to feel? argh.. uh, I don't know!
I'm happy that once again, I'm entering a new phase in my life, and sad because it seems that I am really growing, and it's time for me to mature, and leave those childish life of mine. I don't know what challenges are ahead. But I hope this time, I'm strong enough to face whatever problems coming on my way. And yes, I'm still encountering problem right now. I'm sad for what is happening to my boy. I feel what he feels right now. I want to support him. I'm never gonna leave him in times like this.
I would like to thank God, for another year I lived. I am 20. I am happy and contented. :)

Is this the end?

I'm really confused. I don't want to leave you in the middle of this problem, the time you feel weakest. But the same time, I want to blame you! For everything that is happening to you right now. How many times have you failed a subject anyway? You failed 5 subjects and yet you still have the guts to not study well!! I really hate you for that. You never think of your future! What kind of person you would want to be? A shameful person? a person that is talked by people around. Someone who spent unusual years studying and still doesn't pass it! I cannot just comfort you and you would still be the same person who has no determination. You should learn from your mistakes! Please!!! Why are you such a person! Why don't you learn from your hundreds pf mistakes! you were given so much chances but you took it for granted! Now, I don't want to think that this is the end. But it is closely impossible for you to continue your studies. You have disappointed so much people. I hope you will change. NOW!