a lesson learned

Never in my entire life have I thought this is going to happen to me. This could probably one of the most horrible experiences I had in my entire life. I really never thought of something this bad going to happen to me. Yes, if I could just turn back time, I wouldn't do it. Its a lesson. And I promise to try my best to get away from doing that thing again. The short period of heaven could mean a lifetime of hell. And that is something I haven't thought. Now I repent. Oh please heal me whatever this is. Or better yet, please do not let something happen to me. I haven't taken the test yet. I hope everything is going to be fine. Pray for me. Wish me luck. I promise. This is a lesson learned. :(

AM I?

Am i really happy?

Is this the life i really want to live?

Have I secured my future in him?

Is he really the one I wanted to share my life with?

What i feel right now is that my heart wants to be with him. He is the first man I ever loved. I don't think I can ever love this way again to other men. But i'm not seeing it right. It seems that I am the only one who wanted this to happen. God might have other plans for me. But I don't see it clearly. I don't know what His plans are for me. I'm weak. I really am, and I'm confused. I need help! I really do. :(