Dream

Now I would like to believe that dreams are true. I don't know. As I was thinking this morning. I remember that I had a dream. I just do not know when was it, but it was like he and I are having conversation, a casual conversation. We are talking about our lives and how are we these days. In my dream it was just a friendly conversation, but deep inside I'm still hoping that it would be a good start again for us. Then as our conversation continues, he mentioned where he was on Nov. 1. He said that he was with J and his family on Undas. I don't know, maybe visited the province of J. That was when my heart stopped beating. I knew that what's happening isn't right. I finally decided to stop. I said that we should stop seeing each other, and stop everything. It isn't just right. Both for them and for me who's still hoping. Before we parted ways, I told him never to speak to me again and never run after me. Truly he did. I saw in my dreams that I wasn't looking at him while going different way. And he did the same way.

I kinda believe it's true. It is always what is happening. He never ran after me. Now I would like to convince myself that he never really loved me. He's just fooling me and playing on my feelings. What kind of jerk have I been in love with. :(

Now, upon seeing their photos with my naked eye, I feel like everything I dreamt of was true. Everything was true. And now I would like to believe that he really chose her over me. That's fine. I just hate him for ruining my life. I hope karma knocks on his door. He is a total jerk. :( After everything he said to me, he again proved me that he is a lie! This happened for the second time. The first was February, when he texted me all about his feelings. And then by March he already got a new girlfriend. Now it's happening again. After telling me he loves me, he still wasn't able to let the other go. A word is just word. And actions still speaks louder than words. Now, however I would like to believe that he said what he really felt, I consider it a lie. Seeing them together and happy is a strong proof.

And leaving me again falling on my knees, wounded, I hope this would make me a better person.

Working on forgiveness. I hope to have it soon.

And soon, I hope to have my very own too. I want to fall in love again.

It's killing me.

Die!

Die die die!

Someone

I wish someone would come into my life, understand everything I'm going through, listen to everything I would say and never get tired of doing so. It is so damn hard to be me. Why do such things have to happen to me? I am not that strong. But why am I being given these problems. I can't do this. Gusto ko na rin sumaya.

Why is that?

Please. Ayoko na. Nahihirapan na ako. Why do I have to suffer this fate? :(

Mamatay ka na.

Mamatay ka na, please? Walang hiya. :(

Don't lose hope

I hope I'd be able to find those. One, is the picture I've been wearing on my college ID back then, second is the scrap book I made, third is the xerox copy of HOA book which contains something. Well I don't really consider that one. If it gets lost forever that would be fine. But I hope those 2, I can find it most especially the 2nd one. Please.

I would never lose my faith in finding it. Just like the ones I just found yesterday. The installers that I've been looking for so long. I thought of it lost. And never expected to find it again. But voila, I just found it yesterday when it wasn't the one I'm looking for. I guess, it was just the right time for me to see it. And maybe, it isn't the time yet for me to see what I am looking for yesterday. Thinking out loud.

I will be stopping this tonight. And I hope sooner next year I'll be able to see it. Please. I will pray.

Lost!

I just realized that I'm too good at hiding something from people. Imagine, even me, I couldn't find it where I hid it just a year ago.

Am I too good? Or are these just signs of aging. Oh no. Please. Let me find it, puhlease.

Make a Wish

http://www.banchettomanila.com/2011/11/make-wish-this-11-11-11.html?spref=fb

Accident

Today, I met another accident. And yes, kasama na naman ako dun. :(

Traumatic experience. Pangalawang beses ko na itong maaksidente.

Di ko na maalala ang nangyari bago ang aksidente pero may narinig akong malakas na tunog sabay ng pag-gewang ng aming sasakyan. Di ko alam ang nangyari pero nagulat ako. Pagtingin ko sa likod basag na ang salamin. Kinabahan ako.

Lumabas ako ng sasakyan at nagulat sa aking nakita. Malakas pala talaga ang tama sa amin. Gusto kong maiyak. Kasi swerte kami. Sa mga nangyayaring aksidente, maswerteng walang nangyayaring masama samin. Pero masama ang loob ko sa driver ng bus. Gusto ko syang murahin. Gago ka pala eh, pano kung may nasaktan samin. Di ko kayang patawarin yung walang hiyang yun kung may nasaktan samin! Si ate nauntog at nabubog. Kaya dinala pa kami sa ospital para makapagpacheck up. Ako naman, huli na ng maramdaman ang sakit sa ulo. Di ko maalala kung nauntog din ba ako, psychological lang yung nararamdaman ko o dahil lang din sa lakas ng tama kaya talagang naalog kami.

Bus Driver na bumangga sa amin pa yung maaangas kanina ng paglabas ko. Tngina mo! Gustong gusto kitang murahin! Pasalamat ka walang nasaktan samin! Tngina mo lang talaga!

Dahil sa pangalawang beses na ito at talagang natakot ako, nanginginig akong nagtext kay mama. "Ma, nabangga kami. Tawagan mo ako." Nanginginig din akong bumaba ng sasakyan.

Sa ganitong pangyayari, gusto ko talagang magpasalamat kay God. Sa tingin ko destined talaga itong mangyari sa amin, kung ano man ang purpose Nya kung bakit nangyari ito, hindi ko alam. Pero maraming nangyari na nagcause ng delay kaya nung time na yun kami dumaan sa NLEX. Una, naiwan ko cellphone ko. Pangalawa, hinatid si Mama at V sa kabilang lane (usually di na ginagawa ito). Pangatlo saktong oras lang na dumalaw ako kay D dahil nanganak na sya. Pang-apat dumaan pa kami sa DQ bago mangyari ang aksidente. Lahat ito nangyari bago ang aksidente. Normally di namin ito ginagawa pero kanina ginawa namin ito kaya sumagi sa isip ko, siguro nga destined kami na maaksidente. Destined na noong oras at araw na yun kami dumaan sa NLEX kung saan binangga kami ng bus. Pero eto, thank God! Thank God dahil destined din kami na yung Trooper ang dalang sasakyan. Imagine kung yung kotse ang dala namin na mas maliit. Di kaya mas malakas ang impact sa amin noon? Pangalawa, feeling ko destined din na di ako natutulog nung time na yun. Kasi kung tulog ako, nakasandal ako sa salamin. At malamang ako ang may pinakamalakas na untog nun. Thank You Lord. Thank You po dahil alam kong niligtas Nyo kami. Maliit na bagay. Walang nasaktan. Pero miracle po ito para sa amin. Maraming salamat Lord. Maraming salamat po.

Reasons Why I Love Popoy

The whole review isn't funny though, if the writer wants us to laugh about his entry. Well then, Sir, it is not. Mind you. But the numbers 1, 2 and 3 hit me. These are the reasons why I love Popoy of One More Chance. That's my man! :)

http://www.lagarista.com/site/entry/10_reasons_kung_bat_idol_ng_mga_lalake_si_popoy_from_one_more_chance

BOO-drigo

Pag sumikat ako, isa sa babalikan ko tong lalakeng to. Kairita ka, dear. Better be ready beyotch!

Intayin mo lang. Mukha ka naman terorista. Ya heard?

Cellulites

Targeting to minimize these cellulites by February. Fck off, bitches!

S[he’s] br[ok]en be[cause] s[he] be[lie]ve[d].