the break up

ok, as the title it is. Yes we broke up. He gave up. And now I feel guilty for everything I've done. For all those things that I've said him that hurt him. Yes, this might be my karma. Losing the first and only person I truly love. Not that I had fling with others, it's just that I just really loved him with all my heart. It just hurts me more because I thought we're gonna end up together. I thought we're gonna get married and lived happily ever after. All I thought was to include him in my dreams, he's always there as I build my future in my thoughts.
Who knew we would end up this way? But i know I can never change his decision. It is my first time to see him dumping me, pushing me away, begging me to leave. He said he still love me. And I don't know whether to believe it.
wee. it really feels different. I hope I can cope :( please help me :(
I'm still hoping, that someday, we'll still end up together. That this is just trial in our relationship. Although we're not into relationship anymore.